Strong

Yay! Welcome to my new blog! Ok, now that the awkwardness of "how am I going to start my first post here?!" is out of the way...! :)

I went back and forth on what I should write for my first blog post. There's the obvious intro post, why I'm doing this, etc. Then there's the transformation post, where I share my before and afters and get into fitness and health and share my struggles and successes. But I decided there's time for that. I'll get to those. You'll learn a lot about me (probably more than you would like since I tend to have word vomit...even when I can go back and delete what I typed! I'm totally an over-sharer!) and I will most certainly share my before and current progress pics! You'll learn that I'm a BeachBody coach (woot!) and why I dived into this and joined such an amazing company (shameless plug...I LOVE doing this and would love to help you on your fitness journey!). You'll also learn that I love wine. A lot. Like some days I run solely so I can really enjoy a glass or two of wine without feeling guilty!

Instead of all that I'm going to start with something different. I'm just gonna throw a few words out there for you all. Just take them in, think about them, process. Here they are...you ready?

Encouragement.

Praise.

Love.

Acceptance.

Support.

Genuine.

When I hear these words I feel good. I think about all of the people God has placed in my life who are these words to me. I think about my amazing, supportive husband who has been with me every single step of this journey. I think about my dad, who I miss so incredibly much, and how he was always one of the first to tell me he believed in me, no matter how crazy the idea. Sure he would always come at me with his pros and cons lists and make sure I knew all the angles before jumping in (his infamous lectures!). But he always BELIEVED in me. I think about my mom, the silent supporter. Always there for me if something fell through. Telling me I could still do it. Telling me she BELIEVED in me. I think of my crazy sisters and brother, who always tell it like it is but also always accepted me no matter what. And also they like to smother me with pillows. It's not fun. But they're GENUINE. And most certainly of my brother-in-law who had and continues to have a HUGE impact on my health and fitness. He's a trainer and around June of last year he started helping me, then put FAITH in me that I could run a half-marathon. No way would I have put that idea in my own head! I'll be honest, I'm pretty blessed with an amazing family.

But for a long time none of those words applied to me. None of them described me. Here are some that did:

Jealous.

Lethargic.

Misguided.

Ashamed.

Sad.

Why? Why did these words describe me and not the previous list of words? I had (and still do have) a great life! I have a husband who loves me and encourages me. A sweet baby boy who thinks the world of me. Clearly a family who believes in me. So why these words? Here's why: I didn't believe in myself. I didn't love myself. I was so ashamed of who I had let myself become. A lazy mother and wife. Someone who would rather sit on the sofa or floor while her wild toddler ran amuck and she was too tired to play with him. Someone who believed what society fed her. Fat, ugly, lazy, and not a size (insert whatever size you want here) therefore how and why should good things happen to me?!

Ok, that's all a bit heavy. Don't forget...I like wine. Scratch that...love wine! Ooooh and coffee!

Ok, back to the heavy stuff. So what does all of that have to do with anything? Well over the past year and 3 months I learned how to love myself again. I learned to look at myself (for the most part) the way my husband and family look at me. Most importantly I learned how to look at myself the way God looks at me. I am His creation after all. So what changed??? What made me go from jealousy to encourager? From misguided to acceptance? My health. Seriously.

Let's be real. I'm a woman. It's important to me that I look pretty. Even more so that I FEEL pretty. (If any of you out there are singing lyrics to I Feel Pretty from West Side Story just know I love you!) So this journey initially started with me wanting to lose weight and be skinny. But guess what?? I lost (and found) so much more than that! I realized something...skinny is awesome...I guess. I mean yes, I enjoy fitting into my clothes better, being in the single digits pant size for the first time in years, not crying every time I go into a dressing room, all that stuff. But do you know what's better? I feel STRONG. Like I could probably kick your butt strong. ;)

Strong.

I love that word. Strong as in I carried another human being inside my body for 41 weeks (that's right...my child is just like his mama...fashionably late!), labored for 30 hours then ended in a c-section strong. Strong as in I ran a half marathon strong. Umm, that's 13.1 miles in case you didn't know. MILES. Strong as in I lost my daddy to cancer last March (March 27, 2013 to be exact) and I still fully trust I'll see him again and I know he's proud of me. He was such an amazing man and to watch him battle cancer, then to have cancer "win"...it sucked. But he left a legacy for his family and I'm such a STRONGER person for it. (Oh, and cancer didn't "win"...he still won...he fought his hardest, showed all of us what strong is, and taught us to NEVER give up...no matter what. Fight for what you want.)

Strong.

So I end with this. One of my favorite quotes and I have no idea who said it.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING SKINNY...IT'S ABOUT BEING STRONG!!!

My sole purpose is to help others find what makes them strong. Support them through that. Prove the naysayers wrong. Help them love themselves again.

What does strong mean to you?

(PS: Doing this simply to be skinny...there is NOTHING wrong with that! I just don't personally believe someone can go on a journey like this and it not change you, both physically and emotionally! That's part of what makes this journey so awesome! And hey...rock those skinny jeans along the way! Us mamas still deserve to look good while chasing our kiddos around the park!)